Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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