I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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