Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
