I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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