my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like a drive thru vagina
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I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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