i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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