didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
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Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
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Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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