what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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