can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
