i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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