There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
