Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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