Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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