i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
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