come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize