So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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