At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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