420 ftw
Its about making memories worth repressing
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
