apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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