Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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