turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
