The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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