You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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