Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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