This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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