remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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