somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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