I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize