I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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