Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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