Where is the hickey?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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