He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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