ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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