I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
