Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
