doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
