I don't think brook has ever known best
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
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