Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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