He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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