Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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