it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
