:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
