god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Your cock deserves a montage
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
