So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
