I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Two words: blizzard sex
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
