So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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