so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I came so hard my ears popped.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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