i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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