I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
The beer is more important than you right now.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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