Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
