Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Randomize
