my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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