she looked like the bat from fern gully.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
