Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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