I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
