1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
