and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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