Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
