I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
