Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
