Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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