Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
