That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
did i walk over a car last night?
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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