Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
