MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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