I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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