thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
