he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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