Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I came so hard my ears popped.
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