I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
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my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
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Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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