Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
