i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
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I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
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