woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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